POSTCODE 3000

THERE has been much chatter about what Jacki Weaver will wear to the Oscars, but whatever frock she turns up in, there will be a beauty regimen to get herself red-carpet ready. Dare we say, maybe a visit to a waxing salon because Weaver knows a master follicle torturer, Rosa the Russian beautician, a character played by performer Marney McQueen. Weaver may yet be nominated for an Academy Award for her role in a promo for McQueen's comedy festival show Red Hot and Rosa, the "red" alluding to the colour of the skin after Rosa has finished ripping the wax strips. In the video, Weaver is having her bikini line attended to and says: "Rosa's treatments are so cutting-edge. She's really gentle. In fact, you could say Rosa has a true woman's [sound of Weaver screaming] touch." Another celebrity client is Bert Newton, a legend fixated with the wig on his head. He doesn't reveal what body part Rosa tidies, saying: "Before I met Rosa, I was a down and out loser." Actor Michael Caton is more forthcoming, saying a "back, crack and sack" changed his life.

The A-Z of politics

JUST like the first day of school, the first day of Parliament for new MPs can be overwhelming. Especially when it comes to knowing who's who in the zoo. The industrious Liberal MP for Seymour, Cindy McLeish, is armed with a dossier to ensure she knows which MP is giving which stirring oration or unleashing adjective-filled invective. McLeish created a poster with MPs' photos and names, placing it on the bench in front of her during question time. If other new MPs are scratching their heads about their colleagues, they could ask to borrow the chart.

Cancel that photo shoot

IT SOUNDED too good to be true: that blonde bombshell Pamela Anderson was jetting in today to tour the western suburbs with Les Twentyman and mentor disadvantaged youth. Pam was due to appear on Ben Elton's Live from Planet Earth tomorrow but the production company cancelled her trip, citing "finances". Which could be code for dismal ratings for the TV show. Twentyman said the youth were disappointed that Planet Pam would not be orbiting. "We had a bus load of kids from Shepparton coming and indigenous kids were rehearsing a welcome," he said. Pam won't be popping into Father Bob Maguire's golden jubilee dinner at Crown being hosted by Eddie McGuire. Twentyman remains philosophical, inspired by another VIP encounter in June: "I've still got the Dalai Lama."

Some do, some don't

DERRYN Hinch loathes the Olivia Newton-John movie Xanadu, renaming it "Xanadon't", and guess what? The opening night of Xanadu the musical clashes with the launch of his book, Human Headlines: My 50 Years in the Media, on March 3. Folk invited to both have to decide: tie up the roller skates and glide over to the Docklands' "grand Xanadu marquee" or dare to climb the Eureka Tower's lift to level 89 for his book signing.